Lessons From Recovery

I lost 8 pounds in 48 hours, and no this is not my advise on how to do it too.

I came down with a bad case of strep, at least what felt like a bad case to me.

With it came a fever that had me going between uncontrollable shivering to uncontrollable sweating. I’ve never seen my teeth chatter so hard, and my boyfriend was sweating because the room was so overheated.

The fever dreams were frustrating, I was nauseous, my body hurt when I moved it, I couldn’t breathe out of my nose, and swallowing felt like the impossible with swollen, inflamed, and covered in infection tonsils which made sleeping even more difficult.

I ate when I could, took all the medicine I could, and was just planning on riding it out, but then I realized what I came down with.

It was strep throat. I matched every symptom to a tee.

You take antibiotics with strep, but according to Google, they aren’t mandatory for healing with two caveats 1) I would be contagious for 2-3 weeks after the symptoms went away instead of for 24 hours after taking antibiotics and 2) there can be complications in healing and the infection can come back in a bigger way.

So, I decided antibiotics were a must, but I had a block.

I didn’t want to spend the money on the doctor.

And it’s not just that I didn’t want to spend the money on the doctor.

But I didn’t think I COULD spend the money on the doctor.

I am so blessed to still be a part of my father’s health insurance plan.

I’m an unmarried and self-employed woman. I don’t have coverage from a spouse and I don’t have coverage from a job, but I am young enough to still qualify for parental coverage.

The idea of not having insurance is scary, but even with insurance, I was scared to use it.

I’ve been taught that medical fees are outrageous and unaffordable, and for a lot of people, they are.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of dental work this year and I don’t have dental insurance. It’s been pretty expensive, and I’m nowhere near done getting the treatment I needed.

So I’ve been stuck in this false belief that I couldn’t afford to get medical care when I needed it, and even when I needed it, the expense wasn’t worth it.

I’ve been trying to sniff out those beliefs lately, because it’s time to release them, and I know I’ve been afraid of a required doctor’s visit like this for quite some time.

So I decided to go to the doctor. Between the antibiotics and the co-pay, the whole trip cost me less than $40.

And now for the first time in five days, my throat looks so much better. I’m eating more and have been able to gain half that initial weight back. (Don’t get me wrong, I was trying to lose the weight anyway, but not like this and some of that was muscle mass! So this weight gain is celebrated.) 

I’m learning a lot about how to care for my body in a weakened state, using both eastern and western medicine techniques. Listening to the symptoms to understand what my body is asking for.

Restrengthening on a subtle and gentle, but upward slope.

I’m learning to be patient. You aren’t going to surpass old gains in recovery, that’s why it’s called re-covery.

You have to heal first.

And that is what I am allowing, and it’s teaching me so many lessons, which will help me grow even better moving forward.

And it’s helping me grow now, I’m moving through money blocks and worthiness blocks.

Which is good, because I’m worth getting medical care when I need it. And it is available to me, so the only reason I wouldn’t get it is because I wouldn’t let myself.

So I let myself.

And healing is much easier because of it too.

I can focus on getting myself back to the healthy state I was building before I got sick, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

And I’m excited.

Now I want to know, what have you been healing from, and what has your recovery been teaching you?

Untitled design-6.png
My Rosemary during her recovery, Oct ’18, Left My Rosemary today, Apr ’19, Right

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s