Don’t Fuck With My Zen: An Introverted Empath’s Guide to Embracing Other People

For us introverted empaths, there is no other feeling like it.

The bliss that comes from being alone, in your element, grounded, in sync with your breath and entire being, and just being totally you.

Having space, freedom, and energy to do whatever you want to do, to do whatever sings to you, in the exact “you” way you love to do it.

It’s your zen.

It’s where you recharge.

It’s where you connect to your purpose.

It’s where you heal, grow, and dance.

It’s you’re creative time. Your restorative time. It’s your connection to your soul in the biggest and deepest and most electrifying way possible time.

Yet, it’s something you have to learn to balance in.

Nobody goes through life without needing to connect to and form relationships with others.

As an introvert, just being around others, needing, and having to socialize drains you.

As an empath, it fills you up with energy that is not yours that you’re going to have to sort through later or shield yourself from now.

It could be the best interaction in the world, and yet, when you walk away, recharging is still a must. Clearing out is still a must. Returning to the zen that is you is a must.

And still, we all need other people.

Nobody can get through life without connecting with others.

The Wisdom in the Waves…

If you’ve ever been on or near a lake, you are probably familiar with two things.

One, the lake is naturally still. Unless there is some kind of disturbance, the water is still, calm, and zen.

Two, when there is a disturbance, a boat passing by, it creates waves, and that zen, that calm, goes away.

Things get rocky. Water breaks and splashes around the shore or the edge of your boat. Energy moves through waves, and depending on the speed and size of the boat, these waves can be pretty big.

Anything on the water begins to move and sway as the energy of the passing boat moves through.

There is a ripple effect, and it correlates to losing that calm.

Now, if your own sanity, your own centeredness, your own connection was directly dependent on the water being calm and still, as a lot of introverted empaths operate, chances are, this disturbance will really mess with you.

You may start to fear having people come around you because of what it can do to your carefully cultivated energy.

You may start to tighten up, feeling like if you aren’t careful, if you let anyone in, especially the more difficult people, something bad will happen.

However, if you watch the water, if you watch the lake, once the energy passes, once the boat gets far enough way, the water finds it’s calm again.

It returns to zen, it returns to still.

The water does not fear the boat, it does not fear the waves, because it knows, it will always return back to its natural state.

That state of zen.

And in that moment, if you chose to fear losing yourself to the waves, you give your power away.

It is time for you to reclaim it.

Embracing people is like embracing the waves.

Waves are a complete and total inevitability.

As your own body of water, as your own lake, it is inevitable that you will experience both waves and stillness.

As a human being, it is inevitable that you will experience both solitude and socialization.

Even if you hermit yourself away as much as you can, you’ll still have to venture out for groceries, for work, for doctor visits, for neighbors knocking on the door, family calling… you can’t avoid others forever.

And, if on the off chance your dream isn’t to be a hermit, but to do something out in the world, with the world, or for the world, you’re going to need to form relationships with other people. Friends, family, relationships, clients, partners, network connections, it’s all a must.

So, it’s important to learn how to embrace both the stillness and the waves.

Having fun while you are on the water…

If you have ever gone tubing or gone for a boat ride, you’ll know that those waves make things so much more fun.

They provide more bounce, more excitement, and more joy.

As an introverted empath, it doesn’t have to be your goal to always be in zen mode.

Having a lake where no boat ever gets in the water would lack excitement, fun, and it would take away a lot of joy from those around it, the families, friends, and community members.

The waves aren’t a bad thing.

The waves aren’t something to run from.

The waves aren’t your natural state, and that’s okay. But they aren’t something to reject, to push away, or to try to do away with.

They are something worth embracing.

The people all around you are worth embracing too.

Have more fun with those around you.

The next time someone comes into your energy field…

Especially when you are in your zen place, welcome the disturbance.

You know you will return to your calmness when it passes. You know you have the capability, and you know it’s your natural state.

It’s just as inevitable as the waves coming through.

When the energy of the boat, and the waves it creates, moves on, the lake always returns to its stillness.

When whatever came in leaves, you know you will be able to find your zen, so why not take a moment to enjoy the wave while it’s there?

Enjoy the excitement.

Enjoy the challenge.

Enjoy the other people who are coming into your world.

You never know what they are going to bring, or what you are going to bring them. Who knows, maybe they really needed a piece of your perspective, hope, love, or joy.

Maybe you needed a bit of their excitement, fire, confidence, and energy.

Maybe you both need a bit of intimacy and feeling connected.

Enjoy the exchange, have fun with the waves, and when the energy passes, go back to your zen, knowing it’s all apart of the ride.

A little bit of a disclaimer…

Of course, with anything and everything, balance is key. When it comes to taking and applying the advice and energy here, be sure to do so in a balanced manner.

If you’ve ever sat at the shore of a very busy portion of a lake, you’ve seen that it really doesn’t get much opportunity to return to stillness. Perhaps it does at night when most people go in, but with the first crack of sunlight, it’s back to that constant energetic back and forth again.

There really isn’t much room or time to catch your breath or find your zen.

If you are finding yourself around too many boats, around too many people, to the point that you are exhausted by the time you go to bed and you’re exhausted by the time you wake up, move to a more soothing part of the lake.

Find a place that has a better balance for you.

A place where a little bit, or a whole lot less boats pass by.

Hell, perhaps you even need a completely dead area of the lake for a while to regroup and recharge, but, when it comes time, when you feel good, and feel ready to dive into more, find that part where you aren’t afraid of the waves, and you get enough zen.

Move around to different spots, and work with their energies.

You may even fluctuate between all levels. There are some weekends where I am booked and around others every single second of the day. But, the week after that, I craw into a hole and don’t come out until I’m good and ready.

Other times, I have a more balanced approach built into the day itself.

Yet, still, there are times where I’m too private and need to go out and interact with others.

Find what works for you, but don’t be afraid of disturbances in energy.

Ride the waves.

Enjoy the flow.

Find your zen.

And celebrate it all.

Relationships, and other people, are meant to be enjoyed. Even for the introverted empath.

Want to work with this and me in a bigger way?

  1. Work with me 1-on-1 to Raise Your Vibes through Spiritual Life Coaching with Astrology to up-level your energy into more fulfillment, more spiritual alignment, and more joy both right where you are and through the path that you are walking, by stepping into your wholeness, and into unconditional love.
  2. Book a Natal Chart Reading to work with me intimately with your own cosmic DNA to tap into your purpose, to understand yourself better, and to work with what is being activated for you right now to help you move through the most important time (the now) with ease, confidence, and soul love.
  3. Come join me in my monthly membership program (you get to pick the months you want to join!) that I co-run with Jessica Sutter, intuitive and consciousness coach, Coming Home to You where each month we talk about and work with a theme that is important in your world and those around you to help you unlock more of your bliss and celebrate all of your wholeness, with love, ease, fun, and joy. Once you join, send me an email at with your email address or facebook profile name so we can add you to the group.

Massive Love!


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