This is going to deviate a little bit from my normal posts, and show a little bit more of a personal side of who I am. Which is probably fitting since my north node is in raw as it gets Scorpio.
One thing I hate about certain types of astrology is that to some people there are placements that are just plain out bad. No good. Going to screw you over. Fuck you up. If you have them you’re doomed and that sucks. The end.
That isn’t my style though. Personally, I’m a problem solver. You give me something bad, I find a way to turn it into something good, or at least something that you can work with to find something good. I get it from my father, but I also have a different style and approach to this energy, so I also say I get it from my Aquarius Mercury.
I’m not sure where we came up with the idea that the south node should be completely put in the past, ignored, left alone. That if you tap into it or rely on it life is going to kick you in the ass kind of thing. I’m not saying I don’t attribute it to the past, because I do, but rather why does it have to be a black hole of misery on top of that energy? We all say the north node is our direction in life, where we are headed, what we have to strive for, but also what feels new or scary, something we don’t want to work on so we thus rely on our south node and not putting in the work we need to with our north node energy bites us in the ass. I can pretty much agree with that, but I don’t think the south node is inherently evil, just that if we consistently go back to the familiar and avoid the new, we’ll never really get anywhere in life. Do I think we should completely swing in the opposite direction and never rely on or work with the energy of the south node? Hell no. Trading one polarity out for the other won’t do anyone any favors. If we just ignore the south node, whatever problems we have coming from that end are just going to be ignored. Then years down the road when we THINK we’ve made progress with our north node the south node is going to come through and laugh in our face.
Look at it this way, the nodal axis is known as the head and the tail of the dragon, with the head being the north and the tail being the south, but who even said the tail is a bad thing? Personally, whenever I flip coins or find them on the ground I feel MORE lucky when I see them tails up. At the same time I always favored odd numbers growing up too which seemed strange to others so maybe that’s not the norm, but either way there is nothing to fear about the tail of the dragon. It’s just the other side of the same beast. Yes the head is where we are going, but if we just chop of the tail we’ll have nothing to steer or progress us forward. We’ll be able to see our direction, but not have the power to get there. We need both ends to reach true fullfiment.
When I interpret a birth chart, I treat the nodal axis a lot like the Cancer-Capricorn or IC-MC axis. The south node is like the Moon. It shows our gut reaction, it is what we know and what we feel, what we find comfort and security in. Personally my south node is in Taurus and the eleventh house. I find comfort in taking care of others needs, things that make them a bit more comfortable. When I do this too much, I tend to hit rock bottom where I can no longer give to myself, let alone anyone else. I’m just living in the moment of death and despair, a pretty uncomfortable vibration of my Scorpio fifth house north node energy. I’ve learned that I have to draw boundaries. Yes I feel comfortable helping others, but I also feel comfortable eating chocolate pie but if I always ate chocolate pie and never any fruits or vegitables, I’d be one unhealthy and miserable being, just like when I indulge too much and put too much of my energy and resources into helping others.
A healthy expression of this would be to establish a sense of self-worth among my peers and society. Allow myself to see my true value and know that what I have to offer is plenty and wonderful and great and I don’t have to break myself to help others as much as I think they need it. I have to find a healthy relationship of teaching people how to lay the bricks, but allowing them to build their actual tower.
On the flip side, my Scorpio north node in the fifth house makes me afraid of intimacy, and especially intimacy in the moment. Nothing kills me more than knowing I need someone to help make me happy or to create and manifest my truest desires. Or that I have to be vulnerable and let people in. Talk about other people’s dirty secrets? Sure thing, as me to talk about mine, let’s just say I’m getting better at it. When I connect with someone and give them a part of who I am, I begin to rely on them to get me throuh life. Knowing that I have to rely on others makes my south node scream and squirm, wanting instead to be strong enough help others without needing something in return myself. Sometimes a part of me feels like I would sell my soul to help others if I could, and even though I used to do this in the past, my north node is putting pressure on me to remind me that unhealthy south nodal expression equates to not fun north node expression, and honestly my soul is too valuble to give up to anyone else, especially since I woulnd’t want others to do the same for me. Instead I’d be much better suited merging with others into something we both can benefit and grow from, developing a comfort from living in the moment with mine and others’ shadow side.
Ideally a positive expression of my north node would be deep intimate relationships that help me find a sense of fun without losing myself or developing fear based attachments to the good people and things in my life. Scorpio does rule death after all, and loving things from a higher vibration can most definitely help heal the pains loss can bring us when we recognize we haven’t truly lost anything at all.
This placement also makes me a great healer, someone who can get right down to the nitty-gritty of someone’s psychology and uproot whatever is hurting from their childhood to show them the way to true happiness. And like the Saturn similarities would suggest, I’ve even gone so far to make a career out of this energy, but at the same time I can’t forget the lessons of my south node. I must remember my value among others and I can’t sell myself short. My north node just wants to be the center of someone’s world, my south node reminds me to not sacrifice myself for my deepest desires in the process.
And I think deep down Saturn, or the north node, does represent our deepest desires. We all want to be moving forward. We all want to be great at what we consistently struggle with time and time again. To finally reach the point of sucess to prove ourselves and others wrong, that we can in fact step up to the plate and get shit down when we need to. Saturn doesn’t show us something we are disinterested in either. Saturn shows us an element of our life that will stand the test of time, an element that we seek refinement in because in order to find success we must satisfy Saturn, and we all want to find success. That’s why we focus so much on north node, and less so on the south node. We don’t want to take the time to look where we have been, because we only want to keep moving forward, to see what else we can find.
The north node paints the other side of our success story. Saturn, Capricorn, the MC, all paint one. The north node paints the rest. It tells us where we want to go, what land we want to explore and build and conquer and to find power, what it looks like, and what we have to do to get there. The south node is where we came from. It’s the experiences and lessons and understandings we have developed from our past, this life and others, that shapes what we expect in the future and how we respond to problems in the present. It’s the past we have to dive into to find a deeper understanding with who we are now and who we were before, only then can we know where we are going. We can also get these energies from the Moon, Cancer, and the IC, but without the south node, we are missing a core piece of who we are.
What’s your south node? How does it mimic the energies and experiences of your past, how does it describe your natural reactions and tendencies? How has it held you back? How has it moved you forward? And what’s your north node? How does it show you your path in life, where you want to head, what you may struggle with? We naturally don’t like Saturn, so if you naturally don’t like the north node energies, that’s okay. They’re still there for a reason. What can you do to understand that side of your soul’s path? And how does your south node play into your north node? How has the challenges one has presented effected the other, and vice versa? Are there any other planets or influences that may be playing a part in this dynamic?
Feel free to leave a comment, or if you want an in depth reading of what your nodal axis means to you, comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule a reading!
Good luck and lots of love!